Living in denial is mindless living. Thoreau perfectly described the condition when he wrote:
“Most men live lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with the song still in them.”
A NEW report has found that problem gamblers lose an average $14,000 a year.
PART 4: Mindfulness and Gambling
In cultures around the world, it is easy to see the addiction dynamic at work. Addiction is a compulsive need. What starts as a pleasurable experience turns into an uncontrollable destructive craving. When the thrill of the game outweighs everything else, the player has crossed over the line from player to addict. These addictions can be devastating to the individual, their families and the community. Most active addicts simply refuse to face their problem, and find a million excuses to explain away their behavior, as well as its effects on those around them. This is called being in denial and as stated earlier in this article, living in denial equates to living mindlessly.
Pathological gambling affects the gambler, their family, their employer, and the community. As the gambler goes through the phases of their addiction, they spend less time with their family, spend more of the family's money on gambling until the bank accounts are depleted, and then may steal money from family members. At work, the pathological gambler misuses time in order to gamble, has difficulty concentrating and finishing projects, may show abnormal mood swings, and may engage in embezzlement, employee theft, or other illegal activities. The gambler, in desperation, may experience hopelessness, suicide thoughts and attempts, arrests, divorce, alcohol and/or other drug abuse, or an emotional breakdown.
Mindfulness helps develop the resources and skills needed to break the addiction cycle by providing tools for all stages of recovery: from the dawning of awareness that an addiction problem exists, through the early stages of abstinence or harm reduction, to relapse prevention, advanced recovery, and maintenance. Practice Mindfulness in the following ways:
1. Awareness: Recognize that you are losing control. Mindfulness helps us to recognize when we are vulnerable to yielding to our addiction. Use mindfulness to observe your emotions, habits, reactions and responses. Become aware of your physical tension, growing feelings of frustration, irritability, irrational justifications, and disassociation from those around you. Keep a daily diary to stay on top of emotions and to foster honesty of your feelings at this early stage of recovery- they will change frequently throughout each day. Later, reflect back on the early days of recovery and you will be amazed at the change in your thoughts and feelings. A diary ensures that you have take some time during each day to be calm and reflective about your thoughts and the actions you are taking.
2. Making Healthy Choices: Replace gambling activity with activities that are calming and pleasurable to you. Hang out with a friend, chat on the phone, workout at the gym, go swimming or volunteer. Explore activities that create feelings of calmness, relaxation, pleasure, and enjoyment. Over time, these activities not only replace previous habits but they also create a new pleasure path in your brain that becomes as emotionally rewarding as the addictive behaviour previously had. Some form of exercise also helps to dissipate the anxiety and tension by directing your nervous energy into exercise so that you end up relaxed and fatigued. Exercise is a very positive way to expend stressful emotions. Eventually you will create a positive feedback loop that eases the destructive process, fosters loving-self care and encourages self- discovery.
3. Build Tolerance and Compassion: As we become more aware of our physical sensations we increase our awareness of relapse cues so that we are able to stop ourselves from automatic pilot and make other more healthy and satisfying choices. As we become more distanced from our impulsive actions we begin to understand our drives and unconscious urges. And with this understanding, we enjoy more self discovery and loving self-care. Mindfulness cultivates the qualities of nonjudgmental awareness and compassion that help us to free ourselves from the powerful grip of addiction.
“Learn to watch your drama unfold while at the same time knowing you are more than your drama.”
Whether you’re new to mindfulness or not, you’ll likely find some helpful tools in The Mindful Manifesto: How Doing Less and Noticing More Can Help Us Thrive in a Stressed Out World. Straight-forward and comprehensive, the book offers detailed instructions to retrain our minds—and be kind to ourselves in the process.
Mindfulness teacher Ed Haliwell, who co-authored The Mindful Manifesto with Dr. Jonty Heaversedge, took some time to answer a few questions about the book; and he generously offered to give away 5 copies to Tiny Buddha readers.
“Most men live lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with the song still in them.”
There has been a revision made to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to include gambling as an addiction. For the first time American Psychiatry Association is recognizing addictive gambling as a very serious behavioural disorder.Everyone desires love from and connections to, others. When we lose touch with ourselves, our basic goodness, we feel pain—loneliness, anxiety, sorrow, anger, emptiness, etc. Sometimes we can face these feeling states and find our way back. Sometimes we only cope as best we can. Other times, we simply seek to escape. We turn to work, exercise, entertainment, Internet activities, gambling, thrill seeking behaviors, food, alcohol, and other substances. When we avoid what is actually happening to us for long enough, these forms of coping becomes a habit. Habits, when driven by deep unfulfilled needs, can become addictions and, we grow mindless about our responses to life.
In cultures around the world, it is easy to see the addiction dynamic at work. Addiction is a compulsive need. What starts as a pleasurable experience turns into an uncontrollable destructive craving. When the thrill of the game outweighs everything else, the player has crossed over the line from player to addict. These addictions can be devastating to the individual, their families and the community. Most active addicts simply refuse to face their problem, and find a million excuses to explain away their behavior, as well as its effects on those around them. This is called being in denial and as stated earlier in this article, living in denial equates to living mindlessly.
Pathological gambling affects the gambler, their family, their employer, and the community. As the gambler goes through the phases of their addiction, they spend less time with their family, spend more of the family's money on gambling until the bank accounts are depleted, and then may steal money from family members. At work, the pathological gambler misuses time in order to gamble, has difficulty concentrating and finishing projects, may show abnormal mood swings, and may engage in embezzlement, employee theft, or other illegal activities. The gambler, in desperation, may experience hopelessness, suicide thoughts and attempts, arrests, divorce, alcohol and/or other drug abuse, or an emotional breakdown.
Mindfulness helps develop the resources and skills needed to break the addiction cycle by providing tools for all stages of recovery: from the dawning of awareness that an addiction problem exists, through the early stages of abstinence or harm reduction, to relapse prevention, advanced recovery, and maintenance. Practice Mindfulness in the following ways:
1. Awareness: Recognize that you are losing control. Mindfulness helps us to recognize when we are vulnerable to yielding to our addiction. Use mindfulness to observe your emotions, habits, reactions and responses. Become aware of your physical tension, growing feelings of frustration, irritability, irrational justifications, and disassociation from those around you. Keep a daily diary to stay on top of emotions and to foster honesty of your feelings at this early stage of recovery- they will change frequently throughout each day. Later, reflect back on the early days of recovery and you will be amazed at the change in your thoughts and feelings. A diary ensures that you have take some time during each day to be calm and reflective about your thoughts and the actions you are taking.
2. Making Healthy Choices: Replace gambling activity with activities that are calming and pleasurable to you. Hang out with a friend, chat on the phone, workout at the gym, go swimming or volunteer. Explore activities that create feelings of calmness, relaxation, pleasure, and enjoyment. Over time, these activities not only replace previous habits but they also create a new pleasure path in your brain that becomes as emotionally rewarding as the addictive behaviour previously had. Some form of exercise also helps to dissipate the anxiety and tension by directing your nervous energy into exercise so that you end up relaxed and fatigued. Exercise is a very positive way to expend stressful emotions. Eventually you will create a positive feedback loop that eases the destructive process, fosters loving-self care and encourages self- discovery.
3. Build Tolerance and Compassion: As we become more aware of our physical sensations we increase our awareness of relapse cues so that we are able to stop ourselves from automatic pilot and make other more healthy and satisfying choices. As we become more distanced from our impulsive actions we begin to understand our drives and unconscious urges. And with this understanding, we enjoy more self discovery and loving self-care. Mindfulness cultivates the qualities of nonjudgmental awareness and compassion that help us to free ourselves from the powerful grip of addiction.
“Learn to watch your drama unfold while at the same time knowing you are more than your drama.”
— Ram Dass
For those that are interested in pursuing this topic further, here are two recommended readings that might be useful.
Enough! is a hands-on guide to help put an end to the patterns that sabotage the potential for a true and
satisfying happiness. All of us are caught up in addictions—big or
small. Enough! presents a practical path that releases us from the grip
of negative habits and addictions that block a full and meaningful life.
We can learn how to undo our habits and addictions, but to do this we have to first find their triggers. With the right techniques we can disarm them and learn more effective ways for dealing with the pain that so often underlies our problem-causing behaviors. Without the support of effective methods we are likely to return to our addictions when pain and painful issues arise. Chönyi Taylor helps us break through that cycle, reconnect with ourselves and others, and feel more centered in our spiritual awareness.
Presenting the essence of Buddhism without the jargon, and fusing it with Western psychology, Chönyi Taylor engagingly combines practical exercises that were developed through her workshops with meditations and stories, and presents invaluable insights about how the mind works.
Enough! is intended for anyone who is looking for a powerful and effective way out of addiction, regardless of religious or secular background, and is suitable for self-study or as part of a guided program.
We can learn how to undo our habits and addictions, but to do this we have to first find their triggers. With the right techniques we can disarm them and learn more effective ways for dealing with the pain that so often underlies our problem-causing behaviors. Without the support of effective methods we are likely to return to our addictions when pain and painful issues arise. Chönyi Taylor helps us break through that cycle, reconnect with ourselves and others, and feel more centered in our spiritual awareness.
Presenting the essence of Buddhism without the jargon, and fusing it with Western psychology, Chönyi Taylor engagingly combines practical exercises that were developed through her workshops with meditations and stories, and presents invaluable insights about how the mind works.
Enough! is intended for anyone who is looking for a powerful and effective way out of addiction, regardless of religious or secular background, and is suitable for self-study or as part of a guided program.
The Mindful Manifesto
Mindfulness teacher Ed Haliwell, who co-authored The Mindful Manifesto with Dr. Jonty Heaversedge, took some time to answer a few questions about the book; and he generously offered to give away 5 copies to Tiny Buddha readers.
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