What is Genuinely You?
For many people on a spiritual path, there is a period of "undoing" during which we recognize that we have been performing throughout life to get certain rewards from the systems in which we participate.
In order to differentiate between what is yourself and what is simply your participation in various groups, ask yourself the following questions:
1. How am I not participating in the rules of my family of origin?
2. In what ways do I disagree with mainstream culture?
3. How do I differ from my community, friends, co-workers?
If you have a hard time finding anything unique about how you're living your life outside of established systems, that may be a sign that you're spending too much energy performing roles in order to fit in. Of course, there may be overlap between your authenticity and certain systems (perhaps your parents went to the same college as you chose, but you decided to go there because it best fit your desires...not because it was expected of you).
Often times we find ourselves in systems that give us an opportunity to define ourselves through contrast. For example, you may be born into a very conservative family, in a geographical region that generally embraces what they call "family values" so that you can better figure out who you really are by observing what you are not. You may synchronistically find yourself in situations where you can witness the dysfunction of the old paradigm so that you may more clearly envision ways in which you would like to embrace new thinking.
To become more authentic, reflect upon which of your behaviors are motivated by fear. The fear of rejection, isolation, or judgment may be keeping you in your roles. However, the rewards that come from a disingenuous performance will never satiate you, even if it feels comforting to receive approval.
Attaining a peaceful, congruent mind only arrives when who we truly are is aligned with how we're "showing up" in the world.